How to deal with negativity as a modern age independent gal.

As with a few of my other recent posts, this is just one I’m rolling with organically because it’s something which has cropped up unexpectedly.

I thought, while the notion takes me, that I’d write about a few things which can help the modern age woman deal with negativity both online and offline as I’m sure it’s something we all encounter from time to time.

I suppose this post’s theme is similar to my self worth post but I’ve looked at it from a different angle as there’s just SO much to talk about! It’d be great to hear some tips from you ladies too if there’s anything you want to add.

Negativity, by definition, is “the expression of criticism or of pessimism about something”. And hey, It’s a free world and everyone is entitled to their own opinion and I, more than most, totally advocate the freedom of expression we now have at our disposal. It’s fast-paced, exciting and can make a huge impact.

I love the ability we now have in 2018 to just set up a blog one day from a coffee shop, call it a project and share our thoughts openly with the world. I love that I can create a beautiful image in seconds and engage with likeminded women across the globe on multi platforms about topics that really matter all from the palm of my hand. I love how connected we are able to be. But these new freedoms and abilities and quick connections offered by technology come at a cost.

The price we pay is how quickly someone can tell you how much they DON’T like something or express to you what they DISLIKE about what you’ve shared. It’s instant and sometimes hard to stomach. Social Media is, after all, a platform for narcissism.

I’m a bit guilty sometimes of living in a lovely imaginary bubble where everything is upbeat in the world and everyone is lovely and unfortunately, I go about my day assuming every one else is the same. But time and time again, I am seeing women face the same challenges I do.

All I will say is that YOU are in control of what media you consume online.

Keep your consumption positive, healthy, mindful and productive and try not to engage with content which does not add substance to your life.

With all of that in mind, here are my top 3 tips which will help when trying to handle unwanted negativity experienced both online and offline for the independent gal (fave word, so much sass) living in the modern age.

Let me know if you find any of these ideas useful.

Tip 1

One I have already mentioned on my Instagram… but DO try and take this on board.

UNFOLLOW anything on Social Media which makes you feel anything other than content, relaxed and happy. Yes, it’s hard. We are creatures of intrigue (we’re nosey wee nuggets) and we quite enjoy the demise of others or witnessing struggle that isn’t affecting us. We don’t like to admit it, but it’s true.

We also (women especially) quite enjoy metaphorically whipping out the popcorn and watching a good old argument or fight unfold. It’s human nature to sit back and enjoy Irene from down the road chatting to Debra on a public forum about her break up because for a tiny moment, it feeds our sense of self-worth. Yet it doesn’t fuel a healthy and happy mind set for any amount of time because it’s not supporting or empowering others and that is where true fulfilment comes from. It’s a short term positive coming from someone else’s negative.

Tip 2

Always remember that what others think of you is NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS.

This can be a hard one to swallow, especially if you’re like me and it’s woven into your character to really care what people think of you.

But seriously, how others view you should not direct or guide your life in any particular direction. I did a Facebook post the other day on our page which explained that you are the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with so all I can say is, choose wisely!

Random people will always feed their opinion to you because of the many opportunities there is for them to do so! What you are in charge of is what you respond to and how you respond to it. My advice here is: don’t ignore anyone. Listen, absorb the information and then decide who’s advice is worth listening to.

Is the person offering the advice qualified to do so? Have they achieved things you want to achieve yourself? Is the person doing things you aspire to do yourself?

All of these things are questions you should ask yourself before taking anyone’s advice to heart too much or acting on that advice.

Tip 3

What you need to understand is that probably 80% of what you see and engage with online is not real or totally manipulated.

We live in a world where women (and I’ve been guilty of it myself) would rather be seen with a £500 bag with 3 pound coins in it than without the handbag and the same £500 in their back pocket or bank account. All for a picture or for the sake of a few likes / the approval of some strangers in cyberspace.

It is an empty existence.

I’m not demeaning lovely things… I love lovely things! All I’m saying is that people are bowing down to the pressure of other peoples thoughts (see tip 2) and throwing all sense out of the window with regards to budgeting and lifestyle.

So take everything you see on Social Media or the internet with a pinch of salt. Sometimes, the biggest smiles hide the darkest emotions and the inspirational quote reposts are just a big cry for help. I think just being mindful of this will help alleviate any negative feelings towards your own life when spending those mindless minutes scrolling away.

Hopefully you’ve found something helpful in what I’ve had to say.

Stay sassy and empowered!

Thank you for reading,

TEWP x

 

 

 

 

 

 

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