It’s no surprise that how we view ourselves and our personal image of ourselves is a pretty big deal.
A study by Dove in 2016 revealed that women in the U.K. have some of the lowest self-esteem scores in the world with only 20% of our nation saying they were happy with what they saw in the mirror.
Our internal dialogue with ourselves pretty much sets the tone for the quality of relationships we form and ultimately the lives we lead. It’s like the law of attraction I suppose… you attract back what you believe in and project. So be kind to yourself. Chat kindly internally.
I was having a long overdue catch up earlier with a good friend of mine who’s opinion I really value. He is someone who coaches individuals to reach their goals and who has known me for many years.
Remember what I said about keeping the people who’s opinion you truly value close to you? And that thing I said about only listening to people who have achieved things you’d like to go on to achieve? Well I was putting a bit of that into practice… I figure since the project was started to help guide me to empowerment too, I should try to practice what I preach!
Anyway the conversation with him raised a few home truths about myself. It’s always difficult and a bit uncomfortable to be called out on something or told directly what your flaws are but if you value that person and you know that the intention is pure, it’s worth hearing and having a ponder about.
He said that as a person, I tend to bounce from one situation to another looking to “re-invent” myself or to find a “new me”. I am aware I do this. It’s my way of coping when things go wrong or don’t go as planned. It just shocked me to hear it from someone who doesn’t keep close contact with me. He said that I need to establish who Mandy really is.
That sentence there is what resonated with me most.
Who am I?
A lot of you probably ask yourselves this question on one level or another and this actually follows on quite nicely from my identity crisis post from a few days ago which you really seemed to identify and engage with.
I gave it some thought and I’ve discovered a way to step back from all of the things which help give me my “image” and “identity”, I have developed another empowerment box task for myself and for you guys too.
In order to step back from everything which puts us in our comfy identity box I.e. “The bodybuilder” or “the mum” or “the student”, “the pole dancer” etc, whatever it may be for you, lets start the process by collecting five traits in our imaginary box of empowerment which we’d like someone else to use to describe us.
These can be anything! Any adjectives you can think of. Imagine a room full of people discussing you. What would you like them to say? I’m going to go for: hard-working, loyal, caring , friendly and driven.
So now that I’ve identified what those five traits are and I’ve popped them in the box, I can simply apply them to everything I do. The great thing is, traits are not identity or role specific but they are true to you and really take you back to your core values as a person.
I can now apply these traits to my college work, to my job, to my family life, to my relationships and to my friendships.
They help aid us in leading a happy life with a bit of depth which is specific and tailored to us as individuals.
Which five traits will you pick?
Let me know, I’ve been loving chatting to you all. I hope you’re getting something from the posts!!
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