Inspired by an experiment carried out recently in Stylist magazine, isn’t it true that your best friend always sees you through different eyes to yourself?
They can see all of the good and definitely don’t focus on the negatives because otherwise they wouldn’t dedicate so much of their life and energy to you!
Sometimes we should be reminded about how we are seen through the eyes of someone who loves us. In this case, your best friend.
I asked for some volunteers to do this on the project and I had a few responses. The first volunteers were L and C (we have chosen to simply call them by the first letter of their first name to protect any sensitive information) and also, when this is posted, it will be the first time both of them have read what their friend thinks of them / responds to what they think of themselves!
The first thing I did was ask each woman to tell me 5 things they’d like to improve about their life / current situation.
Once they’d shared this with me, I sent it to the other woman. I then asked each woman to read and analyse her best friend’s response and give her own response! (Hope you’re still with me!) anyway… the conversation went a bit like this:
L (on herself): I’d like to stop beating myself up when I’m not perfect at something I take on, I want to lose weight, I feel I need to work on my fitness and I want to work on dealing with my daily anxiety.
C’s response: In response to L, I’d like to say that no one’s perfect!
That’s the best thing about life, we always have room to grow and learn, to be perfect would be pretty boring I think! The weight you have lost is unbelievable! I know you struggle to see it sometimes but it radiates out of you and rightly so! You have and always will be beautiful inside and out to me.
Please know you are not alone in feeling anxious, SO MANY people struggle with it daily and sometimes we don’t know why it happens, just know that our brains were designed to fight or flight and this will sound corny (but it’s true!) …thousands of years ago we were hunted by animals, we had to fight to survive.
Anxiety has been around since then and our brains STILL act that way! I am always here for a chat about ANYTHING and we will be shaking the weight off on Monday girl!
You’re doing an amazing job of being a wife and a mum and a friend and everything in between, you never let things pull you down and you will need to teach me how to do that better!
C (on herself): I’d like to improve my self esteem, my fitness, my health, my mental health and my confidence.
L’s response: She is one of the most beautiful women I have ever known, both inside and out.
She has the most killer curves, hilarious laugh that you can’t help but laugh along with and an incredible personality. She makes friends easily because she’s such a beacon of light to be around, and I wish she seen that in herself.
I’d like her to not be as hard on herself with her fitness, because she’s one of the strongest women I know. The things her body and mental health have went through in the past couple of years have been huge and she takes all of it on and goes with it.
She’s an incredible mum whose having to learn how to deal with chronic illness at the same time and she’s doing an amazing job at both.
She’s such an advocate for better mental health policy and awareness, and of all my friends I trust her most when I’m having a bad day and need to talk because she never judges. She’ll truly listen to you which is a quality I admire in her.
C’s the girl that will tell you that you look amazing, or she’s so proud of you.
She’s the best friend a girl could ask for.
I want her to speak to herself the way she speaks to me. She’d never speak to another person the way she does about herself, and that little bit of kindness to herself would do amazing things for her confidence.
So there you have it! Two lovely women sharing their own insecurities and having their best friend respond with how they see it through their eyes.
It was very emotional reading the girl’s responses and I hope you will go and tell your best friend exactly what she’s doing right and how great she is if you are thinking it.
You never know how much she may need to see herself through your eyes, even if it’s just for a moment.