In love or in love with the idea of love?

It’s been a while since I posted anything personal on the actual blog!

To be honest, between events, planning, meetings and talks, there hasn’t been lots of time to just write down what’s on my mind. Which is where this all started to be fair!

First off, I’d like to address how truly overwhelming it is for me just how many individuals, groups and organisations have reached out to the project to show their support.

I couldn’t be more grateful or humbled.

Anyway, that’s not what this post is about.

This post is about love.

Something I’ve chatted about and written about a fair bit because to be honest, I’m a hopeless romantic and I do believe in love and I’m meeting ‘the one’. But I think that us women put a great deal of pressure on ourselves to make that happen.

I fantasise about being in love a fair bit.

Cheesy as it sounds, I sometimes crave all the firsts. The first kiss, the first trip to dinner, the first handhold and the first rendezvous between the sheets. But all of those things require chemistry. And raw energy. It’s a rare connection I can’t quite describe and it’s something you most definitely don’t find by swiping. I think I’ve only felt that energy for two people in my life.

But I believe I’ll find it again someday. When least expected. That’s what they say right? It comes along when you least expect it.

Recently, I met a person.

The idea of being in a relationship was overwhelmingly appealing. So much so, I rushed to make it facebook official and posted evidence of our meetings all over social media to let everyone know I was experiencing the firsts.

I craved the firsts.

But guess what? Although the firsts happened… they just weren’t that connection I’d been waiting for. But I think that’s because deep down, I’m not quite ready for them with someone new just yet. And that’s OK!

There’s no harm in admitting that you are achieving and growing more on your own at certain points in your life.

As the title of this piece suggests, I’d say that when the opportunity came along, I just grabbed it with both hands because I am in love with the idea of love. But that doesn’t mean I’m ready to let it in or experience it again just yet.

I have accepted that, for now, I’m destined to go through a solo period of growth. I have been designated time to see some of the world, open my mind to new experiences and ultimately discover who I am and what I want out of life.

And I’m strong enough to admit that.

If you made it this far, thanks as always for reading. Your mere follow means more than I can say.

TEWP x

 

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