Suicide seems like such a forbidden word…
Where do I even begin?
The thought of putting the past year into words seems impossible and frightening. If it wasn’t for The Empowered Woman Project, it would never have crossed my mind! But I am ready, ready to tell me story. I am still learning day by day that these conditions do not define me but it is overwhelming. How can I not let something so toxic, damaging and controlling define me? I look in the mirror and I see someone who no one else sees yet I so strongly believe that someone is me.
How dare people tell me otherwise?
I am not at a stage yet where I love myself but I am slowly getting to a stag where I feel proud. Proud of how far I’ve come. Proud that I am managing day by day. I am starting to accept my scars as symbols of how far I have come.
Maybe I am not so broken anymore after all?
There will be days my BPD and Anorexia will try and take over but the hardest part is done. I got back up when I never thought I would. I nearly left this world, my body was ready to give up. But the people that lovely so deeply held on to me as tightly as possible. They saved me.
I am getting better, I am starting to love again. I am starting to see the world again from a different perspective.