2 weeks is all it took for me to fall for another human.
You may think I’m crazy and if it was someone else telling this story, I’d probably agree with you! But it’s true. Because him and I, well, we crammed what some couples do in three months into just 14 short days.
We laughed together, we drank together, we stole each other’s yawns, we fell asleep together, we saw shooting stars together, we went for dinner together, we worked out together, we spent time in 2 cities together, we have a song or two which remind me of him and we talked and talked and talked. And we talked some more.
About all sorts of things. Our shared interests in crime and conspiracies right through to loss of life and hope for life.
The moment I realised how quickly I’d fallen (and I like that we say “fall” because it insinuates we don’t have much control over it) was when he articulated his feelings to me.
You see, at the start he was all “I’ll make you feel things you haven’t felt in a long time” and “you’re a powerful woman”… which are things I’ve never had said to me. They gave me butterflies. But this dialogue quickly turned into “We are just friends… no attachments” and that hurt. It felt like a kick to the stomach.
But the thing is, I didn’t CHOOSE to feel attached… emotions aren’t something we select like a track on a record. It’s random. It’s pot luck. Our emotions are on shuffle and all we can do is work with what we’ve got.
When he essentially friend zoned me, I found it very difficult to handle.
Yes, it has been 2 short weeks… but surely I couldn’t have been the only one feeling the feels? I mean, “it takes two to tango” and all that and being with someone else intimately is an experience and so if both of you are there in the moment then the energy doesn’t lie, does it?
The reason I’m writing about it is because it’s too crazy to say aloud. I feel like I’m not valid in how I feel because of the time frame. I feel like people might judge. But the truth is, time frames and age just don’t matter.
Energy matters. Experiences matter.
I’m happy now to put the amazing couple of weeks into a box which I’ll hopefully feel comfortable to reopen at some point but for now, they’re amazing memories and he did make me feel things I hadn’t felt in a long time, so for that, I’d like to say thank you, T.