Isn’t it mad how something can be the end of the world for you at one point in your life and seem so small at another? Now writing this as the person I am, it genuinely baffles me how one horrible boy could have ever influenced me in such a way that I would want to end my life. I love my life. Well, most days I do but isn’t that what life is? My […]
As a first time blogger it’s hard to know where to start and you wounder why anyone would actually want to read what you have to say. That being said I’m going to write this anyway. Even if it is just for me. I’d always fancied writing a blog, but didn’t really think I had anything to talk about. Then I was sitting with Katie, my therapist going over things we have discussed for almost […]
One day in the winter of 2017 I was having a perfectly ordinary Saturday. I’d woken up in the morning, taken a diet pill, washed it down with a Slimfast smoothie, and forced myself out into the cold to make sure I burned off all the calories from last nights dinner. Two hours later, I was passed out on my bedroom floor exhausted and reaching for my phone so I could find pictures of bodies […]
A couple of weeks ago, I found myself single once again. The ‘you’re dumped’ text came through, and within the same second, bumble and hinge were downloaded. (Not tinder – I received a hefty 25yr ban after an incident with sending my pal my other pal’s only fan account, which counts as selling sex for money) Really, I should’ve learned my lesson by now – all three of my boyfriends I found through dating apps, […]
When you’re struck with a life changing, debilitating illness and disability, it’s a tough pill to swallow, knowing that going forward, your life will never be the same ever again. For me, cushings disease has caused a multitude of further illnesses and problems, which I don’t really talk about, some of them, I’ve been a bit embarrassed by. Due to the aforementioned, I find it difficult to live a ‘normal’ life, life hasn’t exactly been […]
I lost my virginity at 16 in a tent. “Classy burd” has forever been the joke about it. Wanna know why I really did it? Because all the girls in my school were. Because I wanted to feel popular. Because I thought it might make me feel accepted. Because I thought that would get me a boyfriend. Because then I might be cool. Really it was horrid. I cried in the shower afterwards. The boy […]
There’s this guy I met back in two thousand and eleven and I can’t believe I’ve known him so long. The years have flown by but my feelings never left. The communication went dry, our contact bereft. It’s been eight years of to-ing and fro-ing and of knowing that we’d be perfect… But maybe our version of perfection can be found in the pockets of time we’ve been lucky enough to spend together. Maybe we […]
For the woman whose husband makes an “extra stop” after work every evening. For the woman who is mourning the loss of a pregnancy that nobody else knew about. For the woman who still leads from the front even although she’s lost inside. For the woman who was fired for her fourth late because she has been awake for a straight week with a sick child. For the single mom who doesn’t know how the […]
2 weeks. 2 weeks is all it took for me to fall for another human. You may think I’m crazy and if it was someone else telling this story, I’d probably agree with you! But it’s true. Because him and I, well, we crammed what some couples do in three months into just 14 short days. We laughed together, we drank together, we stole each other’s yawns, we fell asleep together, we saw shooting stars […]
It was August 2013 when I met my perpetrator. He was charming, funny, all the girls fancied him and I was so flattered out of everyone he could of picked, he picked me. In hindsight, the controlling and bullying behaviour started straight away. He said he didn’t want to use condoms so I asked him when he last had a STI check. He was furious. How dare I ask him such a thing. I felt […]
